I was once at the brink of death when my kancil couldn’t climb the steep hill to our small orchard. Instead of going forward the car moving backward by itself down the hill and it stopped at a huge hole enough for a car to went down into it. If I pressed hard it might escape the huge hole, but I have to release the brake. If I release the brake the car will go down into the hole. To switch from brake and accelerate pedal, I have to be quick. My kids were at the back. I asked them to get off the car and move far away to the hill side. With God’s mercy, my father came, blocked the tire with a big stone before he took over the car. Alhamdulillah we were all safe.

To know that you are going to die is a blessed. But to be at the brink of death is a fear. To face and wait for the death is more fearful. This is how I feel whenever I feel or see something abnormal from myself. To see my skinny body and to feel the steel constructed well at my back is a fear for me. For many days back I have headache, I didn’t bother much about it. But the next day I woke up, I felt the sore on my palate and gums. One after another. And today I spot a bloodstain of mine. Enough to freak me out.

Am I at the brink of death?

Allah Almighty says, “Every self will taste death. You will be paid your wages in full on the Day of Rising. Anyone who is distanced from the Fire and admitted to the Garden, has triumphed. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of delusion,” (3:185)
and the Almighty says, “O you who believe! Do not let your wealth or children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. Whoever does that is lost. Give from what We have provided for you before death comes to one of you and he says, ‘O Lord, if only you would give me a little more time so that I can give sadaqa and be one of the righteous.’ Allah will not give anyone more time, once their time has come. Allah is aware of everything you do.” (63:9-11)
574. Ibn ‘Umar said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, took me by the shoulder and said, ‘Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveller on the road.”
Ibn ‘Umar used to say, “In the evening, do not anticipate the morning, and in the morning do not anticipate the evening. Take from your health for your illness and from your life for your death.” [al-Bukhari]

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